Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Back in Action

I finally got the ok to get back in the pool and out on my bike. No more trainer!! YES!! I have a lot of catching up to do on my training, but I have faith in the process and in Jen that she will have me ready to go for my big race in Racine. I'm still in the process of coming to terms with the fact that some of my races will not be what I had hoped them to be this year, but I am getting over my bad self and focusing on Racine. That was my goal race for this season, and that is really all that matters to me right now. The races leading up to Racine will be tough, mentally and physically, but they are a means to an end this year.

This past weekend I went to Galena to watch Greyt and Jen race. I also notched my first DNS. It was an emotionally/mentally tough day for me. I think it was the first time I've really let myself get angry about what happened with my hand. Up until now I've brushed it off as a stupid accident, nothing I can do about it, doesn't help to get upset, everything happens for a reason, blah blah blah. But standing there, spectating, I felt really angry. An accident that never should have happened was forcing me to the sidelines. It wasn't fair. And I was pissed. Instead of being out on that crazy, hilly course racing my heart out like I should have been, I was standing up at the finish area staring at all the racks in T2 clenching my jaw with tears stinging my eyes. I allowed myself that time to get mad, to feel the frustration, and to come to terms with the fact that life isn't always fair. I had the right to feel angry and upset and it was about time I got it out. So I stood there for several minutes letting myself feel all the things I've been pushing aside for 5 weeks. Then I took a big breath, turned around and went out for my run on the race course, making damn sure I even crossed the finish line. While I still had a few bouts of frustration during and after the race, I think I've finally dealt with my emotions around this and can put it behind me. I'm not going to let this set-back ruin my season. It most certainly will change it, but it sure as hell isn't going to ruin it.

"Anyone can give up, it’s the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that’s true strength." - Unknown

8 comments:

Molly said...

Hey, great job getting back to it. I'm sure it felt like it dragged on but it seems from this perspective that your recovery flew by. Keep up the good work!

Sherry said...

I can only imagine how tough the last few months have been for you. You are really handling it well. I'm fairly certain that all of the emotions that you went through are normal and part of the process... and now that Galena is over, you can move on 100%! You've got time before Racine and I'm sure Jen is going to work your butt off to make sure you are ready! And... you can ALWAYS come join me in Augusta if you need another HIM a bit later?!?! :o) :o)

So, now that you are 'cleared' to workout on the bike/swim, does this mean you are also cleared to blog more???

Jennifer Harrison said...

YOU SURE have been thru more than your share of junk this year - MAN. BUT, we will get thru this and the finish line at RACINE will be worth it all!!! You are super tough, Kristen. !!!

Jennifer Harrison said...

PS
LOVE the cute little pic of us from Galena!!!

Kelly Jo said...

I go to the Grubb Y. There is only about a 30% chance it is working though :)

Jennifer Cunnane said...

I held back tears reading your post! I can certainly empathize with the break I took (almost 6 weeks on training) due to my brother's death and now a recently diagnosed stress fracture in my hip! Goodbye 2009 tri season! Your quote perfectly sums up what you can and WILL do, you will overcome the setback and have a great race in Racine. Jen H will definitely make sure of it!!

Sherry said...

Hey you! Thanks for the recent blog comment. So glad to know I'm not alone. I have SUCH a sweating problem normally and the FL heat does not help me at all. Jen wrote and recommended that I try taking in 1.5 to 2 bottles per hour on the next go-round; so that's what I'm going to do. :o) This nutrition stuff is TOUGH!

So hey... when do we get a race report from your last tri??? I stalked your results... I know you did WELL!! YAY!!!! :o)

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