No Such Thing As A Good Excuse

Ok, well maybe a severe injury or a life threatening disease could be a good excuse for missing a workout, but most of the time you really just have a plain old excuse. And there’s really nothing good about it, it just is what it is. So here’s my story, my excuse, my whatever, for missing last night’s long run.

It snowed for most of the day, but nothing heavy and it wasn’t sticking to the roads. I am NOT going to run an hour on the rat wheel, I can run outside. Coach Mike says not to unless I have some kind of traction device on my shoes. Which I don’t have. I call the local running store, “we only have YakTrax in a size medium.” Too big. What to do. Looking out my window at the street below, the roads just look wet, it’s not icy. If I bust my butt home and get ready fast, I can get my run in before the temp drops and it does get slick.

Ok, leaving work as planned…on time…cruising home through minimal traffic, yep the roads are only wet not icy. At home, I go in the house, let out the dog, and begin the process of getting dressed in my cold weather gear. Tights, wind resistant pants, base layer top, wicking layer, illuminite jacket, vest, stocking cap and gloves. And socks and shoes of course. All dressed ready to go. Darn it, I forgot to put on the chest strap for my heart rate monitor. Back upstairs, grab the strap, go to the sink, turn on the warm water, wet the sensors, put on the strap, pull down and tuck in my shirts, zip up my jacket, zip up my vest, put on my watch. Hit the start button…waiting, waiting, waiting for it to register my HR…. ‘00’! UGH! Ok the sensors didn’t get damp enough. Repeat process. Waiting, waiting, waiting…’00’. ARGH! This thing drives me nuts. Third time’s a charm, right? This time I literally run the sensors under the faucet to wet them. Snap it on and BEFORE putting myself back together, tested the connection again. ‘00’. FORGET IT. I’m wasting time. I’m running without the data, I don’t care.

In the garage, stretching…getting ready to go. Step out into the driveway, feel the wind draft around my neck…hmmm, I need my balaclava. Back inside, up the stairs…searching, searching…where did I leave that darn thing? Finally! (under a pile of clothes on the floor in the closet that I have yet to put away. From a week ago. But whatever.) Balaclava on, out into the garage, stretch a little more, hit start on my watch …waiting…waiting…waiting…79! Score, ready to roll. Shut the garage door with the keypad, start my watch and I’m off! Step, step, step, SLIP, step, SLIP, SLIP, step, SLIP. This is not going to work, it’s too icy. *SIGH* Fine, I’ll just go run on the darn rat wheel.

Back in the garage, I see the bag of ice melt leaning against the wall. I should probably put some of that on the driveway. But I can’t put it down with my running gloves on, I have to change them. Inside the house, swap gloves, close the door to the house, back in the garage, spread the ice melt. Done. Ok, time to go change and get to the Y. Up the steps, turn the knob and PUSH…what the?? Turn the knob…not turning! How can that be? Is it stuck? Wait…what? Locked? How could THAT be? I didn’t lock it. Darn it! (Ok, so this isn’t exactly the same words I chose last night, but I’m keeping this G rated. Remember my 1 month old nephew reads this!) No key either. Now what? Maybe, just maybe, I didn’t lock the back door when I let Sunny out earlier. Run around the house, through the snow drifts, up the steps to the back door. Turn the handle and push….no dice. Locked too. Ok, last option, door #3. Back through the snow, around the house, up the steps to the front door. Grab the knob… it turns!! YESSSS! Push…yeah, nice try. The dead bolt is locked. *commence loud and obnoxious swearing*

So now I'm locked out of the house, sitting in the garage on the steps fuming mad. Laura isn’t planning to be home for at least another hour and a half. The garage isn’t heated, and I’m getting cold very quickly. Luckily I have my cell (always a safety precaution when I go on long runs). Dialed the office….”Um, yeah…I locked myself out of the house.” “So what are you doing now?” “Sitting in the garage.” *loud laugh* *grumble from me* “I’ll leave now and come home.” “Thanks.”

Now I'm sitting in my car waiting for Laura to arrive. Since I had just gotten home it was still warm from having my heat on. Good thing I have an emergency blanket in my car...I need it to stop the shivers. So, I’m mad, embarrassed and suddenly starving. Literally, as soon as Laura opens the door, I grab my car keys and do what any mad, starving athlete would do in this situation. I head to Taco John’s . Nothing like calming yourself with a meat and potato burrito and some potato oles. So I drown my irritation in wonderful greasy fast food, and look at the clock. Almost 9pm. UGH, I have to teach kickboxing at 6am and I still need to figure out what I’m going to do. *grumble* I give up, this run just ain’t happening.

And there it is folks…my excuse for last night’s missed workout. Sounds a lot like my dog ate my homework, huh???